Why Every Man Should Learn to Dance

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Today I want to talk about dance, howit may be one of the best decisions that I

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ever made for my own personal improvement,and possibly saved my life,

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or at the very least,made it a whole hell of a lot better.

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For those that don't know me,my name is Teevee, and on this channel I talk

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about parenting, personal development,and simply becoming a better human being.

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I am a father now to a 23 and 21 year old,

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and I'm also a grandfather, divorcedfather to the 23 and 21 year old.

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I've had to raise them

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as a divorced father,and through the process of all of that,

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I learned a lot about being a man,being a human, and being being a father.

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So dance.

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Why do I say this big, crazy thingabout how it may have saved my life?

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Well,

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I'll start by saying that

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before I started dancing and reallypushing myself, I never really danced.

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I loved it.

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I was fascinated by it, but my fatherunfortunately didn't allow me to dance.

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He insisted that men don't dance,so he forbid it in my family.

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He forbid it from me,even though I've always felt this

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desire to move to the music.

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Because come on, let's think about it.

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Music is captivating,

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and especially some of this stuff,it just makes you want to move.

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All cultures throughout historyhave a history of dance and music.

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It's almost synonymous.

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You can't.

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I can't imagine a culturethat doesn't move in some way.

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Now, is it as structured as it is today?

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Probably not.

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But nonetheless,every single culture has it so

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despite that,my father didn't allow me. Now,

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so I didn't do it.

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I didn't do it for my adult life.

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I didn't do it when I was married.

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I mean, I would wiggle with my

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my daughter and dance with herwhen she was young and sick.

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That was actually one of our,

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favorite pastimes is just dance together.

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I wouldn't move there,but still was nothing structured.

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I didn't know whatI was particularly doing,

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but I was feeling the music.

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Now fast forward, I'm divorced.

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I have two daughters, struggling,trying to date

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and what to do with my life in general,but date

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and then trying to figure outhow to get back into the playing field.

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So this was 2007 or 8.

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I decided after some while to startdancing, and my girlfriend at the time,

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and I, her and I went to an eventwhere there were salsa dancing,

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and it was it was overwhelmingbecause they were badasses.

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They were absolute badasses. And I

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could not keep up.

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My girlfriend at the time was like,come on, just come out dance.

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It's really easy.

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You just have to feel the music.

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And I knew in that momentfrom looking at those people

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that they weren't just feeling the music,they were doing something.

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There was, I don't

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I didn't know how classes workedor how much work people put into it, but,

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there's no way.

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They're just feeling the music.

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Sure enough, eventually found out

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we broke up and I decided after that breakup, I am going to learn how to dance.

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So in 2009 or so, I started taking salsaand bachata classes.

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And there were fun.

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There were absolutely fun.Especially my there.

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That's the one that I lean towards more.

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I had a simpler step and had,

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something that I could relateto a little more than salsa.

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Salsa was still a little too much for me.

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And it was.

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It's a it's a marathon.

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It's not to saythat it isn't beautiful. It absolutely is.

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It just wasn't for me.

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Bachata is where I was leaning, buteven then, I still wasn't fully on board.

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It wasn't until like 2014, 15, almostten years ago when I stumbled across

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what we were then calling kizombaChi Zombie a just so you know.

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Now, for the record, kizomba,it wasn't necessarily the style

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or the original format,but for the sake of it,

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I'm going to call it kizombain case somebody is watching

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that is in this space,

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and they start to trash meor badmouthed me,

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because I don't knowwhat I'm talking about.

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We're going to call it Zumbafor the sake of this conversation.

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So I discovered kizomba.

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I was introduced by a few friends.

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Another friend, now friend, was teachinga workshop which is really new.

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It came from Africa, Angola.

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It was a beautiful dance.It was really intimate.

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It was chest to chest.

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It was.

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It was something else.

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It was beautiful.

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It was sexy. It was sensual.

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It was passionate.

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And I wanted to learn how to do it.

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It was that was even a little moreintimidating because you are chest

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to chest, predominantly in the style,in the style of dancing.

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So that's one part of it.

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But I love the music.

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I love the connection.

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I loved, I love the people.

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So I got immersed in itand after a while it took me some time

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because I was really didn'tknow what I was still doing,

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but I didn't know I liked it.

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Something unlocked in my headthat allowed me to connect

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with the music differently.

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What I what I heard,and when I was started to understand,

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is that this,this style allows you to interpret

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and connect in a different waythan many of the other styles.

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There wasn't so much stepping in so many,patterns per se.

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Even though they do teach patterns.

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You could interpret

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and do whatever you wanted to the music,and that was a huge unlock for me.

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All right. So

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I at that point became incredibly enamored

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with the style and was determinedto become better and better and better.

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So this is where we get to the first bigbenefit of learning to dance in general,

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but specifically cuz on the other peopledance in general, you should do it.

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And I'm gonna tell you why.

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I'm going to tell you that for mespecifically, Zumba is what helped me

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become the man that I am today.

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And I'm gonna tell you how.

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Number one, my social circle.

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I would go to classes, would meet people.

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I obviously meet women and men.

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And from that group of peopleand the various generations

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that I was a part of,

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I started to befriend and becomeclose friends with a handful of people.

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To this day,

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many of my closest friends

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are from the community of Kizombaand Urban Kids dancers.

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That's the namethat eventually evolved out of it.

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They became some of my best friends.

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One of my some they're many of my bestfriends have come from the community.

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I started to think about it.

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Right now, it's easily 4 or 5 that I canI can rattle off that

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come from the community.

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Something about coming together,

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dancing, connecting,getting to know each other over time.

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It's it's less intimidating than a lotof the other spaces that I've been in.

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That where you're trying to socialize.

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It's just easygoing and fulfilling.

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And that is the first big benefit.

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Your social circle starts to change.

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You all has this artistic endeavor.

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You're trying to listen

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to this beautiful music and interpretand play, encourage each other.

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It was it was.

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It's been an absolute rideto know that and to look back

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and realize that so many of my friendsare from the community.

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So that's number one.

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Number two, and this is probablyshould have been number one.

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No, I don't think about it,but I'll just say number two,

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I started to really get comfortablein my body again when I was a child.

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When I was youngerI wasn't allowed to dance.

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I was awkward, a skinny,I was teased, you know, all the kid stuff.

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And personally, when I have another child.

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I will make sure, especially a son,

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I will make sure that he or shehe learns how to dance.

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I will teach him how to dancebecause there's nothing

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that makes it easier to move in your bodyand move fluidly, confidently.

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Nothing that can help you learn that skillas dancing, weight distribution,

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interpreting the melody,just being able to carry it in such a way

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that it looks much more elegantand frankly, feels better,

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which is probablythe most important thing.

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Up until then,I didn't feel very confident in my body.

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I'd walk into a room and not to saythat people didn't like me and that people

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didn't appreciate me,but I walked in with a posture

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and a presencethat isn't becoming who I truly am.

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At my core, I like to think that I'ma bravo, brave and bold individual.

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But the way I walked didn't reflect that,and I think that dance helped unlock

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that part of me that was been hiddenall those years because I want to move.

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Especially if I had some musicplaying. Forget about it.

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If you're going to find me

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grooving and if there's a dancer,chances are might be on the dance floor.

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But it made me feelmuch more confident in my body.

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And if you struggle with those typesof insecurities, you should check it out.

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You should try dancing in general,but specifically keys

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only if you have somesomething going on in your city.

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And I didn't know it at the time.

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I just started to feel better, startingto show up stronger, and I felt like that

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was the tipping point in becoming the manthat I was meant to be.

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So get out dance moves.

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Honestly,I'll add this as a part of all this.

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Is that it helps de-stress you moving,

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moving energythrough your body, moving to music.

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If you're having a bad day,there's nothing that makes you feel

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better than moving to this day.

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Even with my girlfriend,we're having something.

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Or if we're going through something,we'll dance because that's how we met.

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Which leads me to point number three.

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By 2009 2010,dating started to get really complicated.

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By 2015 or so.

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Forget about it. Everybody's swiping,

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and I did my fair share of it.

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I wasn't a fan of it.I never really worked out for me.

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But dance allowed me to connectwith a whole another group of women

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and potential date peoplethat women that I could date now,

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I didn't think about that, that

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I wanted to learn to dancebecause I wanted to learn and dance.

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I didn't actually thinkthat I was going to meet

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someone that would eventually be my wife.

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Through dance.

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That's exactly what happened.

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And the joke that I like to sayis that I'm not promising

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that that's going to happen for everybody.

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But there isthere is something to be said about

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feeling and becoming more attractiveby being able to moving your body,

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by being socialand being in a social circle

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with other social circle,with social circle with other people,

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as a social circle with other people,like minded individuals.

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You get that opportunity

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to connect with women and other humanbeings in a really tight knit circle.

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So sometimes you might hit it off withsomeone, and that's what happened for me.

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But it actually happened in a differentway. Let me explain.

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As I started toget more and more involved in the dance,

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I realized that I really wantedthe community to grow.

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So in 2019 or so,

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I made a commitmentto start growing the scene.

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So I grew a little community.

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I started to host eventsand through that, over the course of time

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and managing those events,I started to really grow the community.

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One day in 2019.

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By the end of 2019, in walksthis beautiful woman.

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Beautiful.

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And I didn't know it at the time, but

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that was going to eventually be my wife,and she's been my partner for six years.

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Again, disclaimer I'm not sayingthis is going to happen for you or to you,

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but I the probability of this happeningis much higher, I think, than swiping.

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I feel that in this culture,nothing in this culture, in

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what we do today,which I, I think people do today, is

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we don't really socialize and connectwith human beings,

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much less people of the opposite sex.

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I believe that dancing isone of the best ways to connect and date.

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You get to meet people out in the scene,dancing and classes.

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And I'll say thisyou don't even have to be very good.

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So if you're like, oh,but I'm not, it's going to take forever

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for me to be a good dancerand then to become attractive.

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You don't have to be good.

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You just have to be present.

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You have to be out there.

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I used to tell thisto some of my single friends,

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like dudes, guys just show up,just show to the class.

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It's much better than trying to swipe,show up, connect

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and be kind, friendly, funny, charismatic.

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Be you. And it's okay to be clumsy.

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You don't have to be the world's bestto find someone

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that you might be attractedto, and vice versa.

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They might be attracted to youfor just trying,

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and I think that's a problemwith a lot of people these days,

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that they're afraid to try thingsand learn things and look dumb.

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It's okay to suck. It'sokay to not be good.

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You're all in the classes together,being very good together,

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but you grow together

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and you're going to end up finding someonethat you might be attracted to.

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I'll say that for me, as I washosting these events, not only did that

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I meet my partner, but I also through thethe hosting of it in the ongoing.

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Yeah, the ongoing hostinga handful of people met at my events.

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They ended up becoming couples.

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I think 1 or 2 might have already gottenmarried because of it.

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And it's a beautiful thing.

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I feel like it's it'sprobably the biggest payoff.

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You do not have to be very good.

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Again, dancing for mehas become, an integral part of my life.

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I don't dance as much as I used tobecause my partner is here with me.

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But we do move whenever we can.

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We try to go out whenever we can.

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And for me, I still to this day,I'll dance in the kitchen.

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I'll dance to the room, I'll grab mymy partner and we'll dance as well.

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We'll do whatever.But it is a part of my life has become,

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It's become a part of my identity.

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I am a dancer.

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And knowing that it has been thisfulfilling adventure that has helped me

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become the manI want to be, become attractive

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and have all these friends that I call,all these people that I call my close

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friends tells me that is, it'sprobably the best decision

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I ever made for myselfand to improve myself.

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So dance, go out,

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dance, kizomba dance was shot downsouth and do ballroom do swing.

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We do whatever you want,but get out and dance and move

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and you'll be surprised by the rewardsyou'll get on the other end.

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Thank you for tuning in.

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My name is Teeveeand if you enjoyed this video then please

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check out this videowhere I talk about my 50th birthday party.

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It was crazy fun and somethingI didn't even want to happen, but it did.

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Check it out.