Daddy Daughter Podcast - Asking My Adult Kid on How I Screwed Her Up

Teevee Aguirre [00:00:00]:

Hello, everyone. Where is it? I'm looking at that camera. I got to remember that because it's kind of usually I see my face. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the TV show podcast. Today I am talking to my oldest daughter. It's taking me years and years to get her on the podcast, but she's finally he's never asked me. Yeah, I wanted you to be old, older. I wanted you to be at an age where it would be a little more comfortable for you. I felt like you could always talk. That was never a concern. Just liability and privacy, I guess. Anyways, this is my oldest daughter. Today we're just going to have a conversation about life and who knows what else comes up. I have a few questions somewhere that I jotted down that I don't want her to look at, but she'll probably see them in a little bit, so I'll start with this. First of all, thank you. Because, by the way, she's 20, so she no longer is legally obligated to even talk to me, much less come see me or hang out. So it's one thing that I'm really honored and blessed when she does come through because she wants to. So even this podcast in and of itself is because she chooses to and not because she's legally obligated to. So, Fed, tell us a little bit about adulthood. What does adulting feel like? Well, how was that transition?

Fe Aguirre [00:01:32]:

It feels good. The guy was very prepared.

Teevee Aguirre [00:01:37]:

That makes me happy.

Fe Aguirre [00:01:38]:

Yes. I mean, nothing has hit me. Boom. And I'm, like, shocked and asking for advice. I was definitely prepared for a lot of this stuff, and once it hit, I was like, there it is. That's what he was talking about. And of course, I just started adulthood.

Teevee Aguirre [00:01:59]:

Two years in Bro.

Fe Aguirre [00:02:01]:

Yeah, but it doesn't feel like it still yeah.

Teevee Aguirre [00:02:07]:

Can you give us an example of what you mean by that? Like, what was something that came up? You're like, oh, that's what the old man was talking about.

Fe Aguirre [00:02:14]:

Let's see. So he always tried teaching me young because I felt like I was always tired. And even when I worked for him and did little things, I was like, I don't know, I still slacked a lot. But once working for a real company, you see, like, oh, there's no slacking, and you're even more tired. But then again, I feel very energized because of my job, if that makes sense. Although it takes up majority of my day, I'm very energized to go to work, bills, food. I enjoy eating out, and it all caught up to me because I enjoy good food, not eating good. I like eating really good. And I don't think there's a week where I haven't gone out to a restaurant. It's usually on the weekend. That's where I treat myself because I cook all week. So it's a pat on her back, like, yeah, let's go out to eat. Yeah, relationships, managing relationships. And that's, like, just with people at work. Yeah, a lot of it is people at work, especially because I felt like I entered adulthood at a very young age at a different level. So people expect less from me, and so it's just managing their expectations and also being patient enough to tell them, because I know I look young, and I am young, and I'm over here telling them in conversations I could give them a life lesson, and they're like, what do you know? And it's just like, okay, I get it. I get it. I'm much younger than you.

Teevee Aguirre [00:04:10]:

You're supposed to be screwing up a lot.

Fe Aguirre [00:04:12]:

Yeah, I'm supposed to be messing up, really crying to them right now, my parents, about how much I need help right now, but I don't think I do that. And so it's just been I've had patience with everyone and their expectations that I know from the beginning that they have set on me, which is, like, nothing. They don't have expectations at all. And so whenever I'm over here managing them, I've come to understand, like, okay, I'm young. Let me teach them how to treat me and why they should treat me that way, because my relationship is valuable. And then, of course, I feel like I've been very patient as a young person, even in high school. Patient with friends, patient with teachers. And now I've learned to set boundaries where no one's validation matters to me.

Teevee Aguirre [00:05:14]:

You said that the other day. It was interesting you said that to someone in a conversation, right?

Fe Aguirre [00:05:20]:

Yeah. It's not important to me because I know where I want to. I have the mindset of where I want to go, where it's possible. I know what I can achieve, and I know myself, and I know I've been parented. Very good. So the feelings I feel are valid, and no one else's opinions, outside opinions matter. You can share them with me. You can give me insight. You can help me understand better, because maybe I am lacking some knowledge on some things, because I get, like, I don't know everything, but I've come to understand not to be too patient with people, because if they're invalidating my feelings super often, then they shouldn't be in my life instead of supporting me.

Teevee Aguirre [00:06:08]:

Wow. Okay. Well, that's amazing. You spoke about work, so share with the people what you do and why you like it.

Fe Aguirre [00:06:20]:

Okay. He likes this one a lot because you'll see why right now, I am a project coordinator at a digital marketing and advertising company, which is exactly what he does. Surprising. And I manage projects and make sure they get out on time and that they're running according to the timeline we've created for them. So I'm staying on top of the team, and I'm staying on top of clients as well. A little about it is I started fresh out of high school, and this is where it kind of hits everyone. I put everybody I don't know on a roller coaster because I was like, yeah, I'm not going to college, so.

Teevee Aguirre [00:07:09]:

Okay, let me ask you about that. What was my reaction when you asked when you told me, do you remember? I don't want to go to college?

Fe Aguirre [00:07:18]:

I think it wasn't like an initial. Like, I don't want to go to college. And that's the first time I ever told him. I would question college a lot leading up to it. And so I think that's why it was so easy for me to make the final decision. Like, I'm not going, is because I had support from the beginning of, you do what you want because there's so many ways I can become successful if it's not through college, and we'll find another way. And so you were supportive throughout the whole path of me deciding if I wanted to go to college or not, and if it was for me because I didn't have a great high school experience. Yeah, I had great friends. That part, yes. But when it came to doing math and I would get great grades, and I would try my best to get as high as but it was never fun to me. It was always just so stressful, and it didn't feel like it came naturally to me. It felt like I had to work super hard for it. And like I said, my energy was gone, and I didn't want to go to college and have to do the basics all over again to be able to do something. And getting a degree in marketing when I knew I already had a lot of the skills that I picked up from him. And so that's what I knew. And so that whole time, that's all that was running through my mind and what had me questioning if I really wanted to go, if this was something I wanted to do, or my peers and my teachers and the people around me wanted me to do.

Teevee Aguirre [00:09:00]:

So for me, when she did come to me with it, I supported it because I didn't go to college. And it's not to dismiss college because I'm sure I'm going to catch some college hate. So on the flip side, just for context, my younger child, she's more of the academic type right now, we're working through college applications and college scholarships and what costs and tuition and everything involved in that. So this is not me poo pooing on college, but I knew in my heart of hearts, because I'm doing this every day, one, I didn't go to college, and I was able to figure it out, and I had a skill set. I jumped into a niche and a space that is in heavy need, which is marketing. Now, it was accidental of sorts, but I jumped into that even at the latter part of my year. And I knew that all this a lot of the people that are uber successful in this space. And there's so many places ways to cut this up and so many places within this space, spaces within the space that you can be successful, uber successful, either doing it for yourself, doing it for others, because I run a marketing agency just for context. So she did a lot of the jobs for me. She started training and so did her sister. I started training her on video editing, audio editing, photography, anything that you can imagine as it pertains to digital marketing and advertising. She's great with content. She's just fantastic. So I knew that she had the skills that the was developing. I didn't know how we were going to make it work for her. So when she came to me with that, I wasn't really concerned. Obviously a little stressed because my kid's going to come out of high school. What are we going to put her in? What kind of job is she going to get? But luckily there's a lot here to share, actually. One is she had the skills. You weren't an expert, you weren't a fantastic anything. You were just really good. Especially for her age. She's been messing with this and she's 1415, if not younger. So I knew that if given the opportunity, she could excel at a quick pace, which is what she did when somebody gave her an opportunity. A good friend of mine, she interned with her and eventually hired her when she was given a chance and allowed to shine, I knew she was going to kick ass because that's just the type of person that she is in the type of child that she wrote that I raised. I was going to say that Rose, like he rose for the dead or something. What are you going to say?

Fe Aguirre [00:11:29]:

But yes, that was like the next part. I went straight into it. I enjoyed like a month of summer and I think that was like your month. And then I went back to my mom's for a couple of weeks and that's when I started my internship at Bold Entity. And I know I was given an opportunity because and this is where it comes back to my dad, I was given an opportunity because of the relationships he has is network, which I am so grateful for because I'm still in the position, I'm still with them.

Teevee Aguirre [00:12:03]:

So that's another thing that as I give this more thought and more thought is that my network is their network. And this is true for the wealthy, the uber wealthiest, like who, you know, matters. And it didn't really click until I was older and I saw it. The girls were getting older and I realized how much how valuable that was going to be. Over the last 1415, actually 14, march 1 would be my 14 year anniversary that I quit my day job here in a little bit. We're filming this in the middle of February. But over the last 14 years, I've been nurturing a network of amazing human beings that I love and who love me, that we give to each other. We're just friendships. So Valerie was one of those individuals who one day when I met with her, said, hey, what's she doing? I'm like, I don't know. We don't know yet. We're figuring it out. She's like, well, she could intern with me. I'm like, oh, shit. Are you serious? Yeah. So that took a while to work out, but my network literally helped put her in a position to succeed, carry on.

Fe Aguirre [00:13:09]:

And so I started my internship. And I will say, like, I had a lot of doubts because it was an internship. It's an internship. Yes. I knew I wasn't going to be handed all this trust from the beginning, and I knew I was going to have to work for it. And I only had so little time. I barely had any time. It was 5 hours a week to show that I was capable. And even then, whenever I started getting more time, that still was never enough because I had to then gain like, they had to give me smaller projects to see where I can go. And then we grew from there.

Teevee Aguirre [00:13:53]:

She comes to me at some point. She's like, I don't know. I can go get a job somewhere else, making more money. I can get more hours. I can't like, baby, please stick with it. I promise that it'll work out. Please. Please. Because, yes, you can get a job at McDonald's making 15 $20 an hour Walmart or something. So that's fantastic. So you're going to get some cash. But please, I promise you that long term, this job or this career, this path will be better for you. Please suck it up. Don't quit. It'll work itself out. And did it?

Fe Aguirre [00:14:29]:

It did. And I think I was offered a full time job as a junior content creator. And that's where it became I think that's where it's towards the end of the internship, that's where I stressed because I didn't know if I was going to get a full time job with them or a part time or an extended internship to prove myself. And so towards the end of it, I was like, I'm kind of at an age where I need to start making my own money.

Teevee Aguirre [00:15:04]:

And your own decisions.

Fe Aguirre [00:15:05]:

Yeah, my own decisions. And so it became very stressful. But as soon as I got the full time job as a junior content creator, I knew after that I could hold on. Like, I can hold on to show my worth, to show.

Teevee Aguirre [00:15:22]:

What you can bring to the table.

Fe Aguirre [00:15:23]:

After that, it was so much easier for me because I'm super passionate about it. It's not like I grabbed the best job I can get with my experience. No, it was because it's something I even told my dad. Like, I'm going to be a marketer. I'm going to have a company like you. I'm actually very passionate about it. Yes. And so it's easy to do a job that you're happy about when you wake up. And so at that point, I was already happy. And I just knew I have to push myself, and I have to always and again learn. I know I didn't go to college, but I am always educating myself on newer things and better ways to do things. And that's what I've always told my dad. I feel like I can learn so much, but then again, I'm honest with myself. If it's something I can't do, then I won't do. But I always try. If you give me a chance, if you tell me if I try this, I'm going to go try it, especially if I'm passionate about the whole company. I was given the opportunity, and now I am project coordinator, and yes, and it's going to be my two years this year, in 2023. So since I've had my internship and then since I started full time. So, yeah, that little bit more about me. I still do photography. And that's what kind of got me into this, too, that I still say that's my art. And what I noticed in high school, my senior year is I absolutely loved photography. And I know anybody can do it. I know anybody can pick up a camera these days because even our smartphones are so smart. Anybody can do it. I understand.

Teevee Aguirre [00:17:23]:

But still an art to it, the artist aspect to it.

Fe Aguirre [00:17:28]:

Exactly. And I just knew, and I've talked to people who try to take on photography, and I'm super happy for them. And then we talk about it, and they're like, but the only thing I hate about photography is editing. And then that's where I don't relate. That's how I know I am super passionate about photography. And photography. I know photography can be anybody can call a photo. This is my photography. This is what I do. But I enjoy every aspect of what comes with photography, dealing with people editing and the actually capturing and having that eye framing it. Yes. And so that's what I knew in high school. I knew I wasn't that great, but I picked it up so fast.

Teevee Aguirre [00:18:19]:

You had a side hustle for that in high school?

Fe Aguirre [00:18:21]:

I had a side hustle for everything about to say.

Teevee Aguirre [00:18:23]:

But list out some of the side hustles that you had in high school, because I had to fund some of.

Fe Aguirre [00:18:28]:

Them, most of them, because I know I get a lot of this is.

Teevee Aguirre [00:18:33]:

Why I know she's my kid, by the way, and she's going to list them out here in a second. Because when I was in high school, from that point on, I always had some hustle, whether it was baseball cards, whether it was stamps. It was a drawing for people. Like, I had little hustles all the time, comic books.

Fe Aguirre [00:18:50]:

Yeah, but go ahead. I know I can't when I tell people, yeah, this is my first job. Everybody was like, Dude, what? But I was my own hustle. I was like a hustler before this. And I was making them all the money that I needed to be happy in high school and still focus on everything else in my life without my job. It was my job. I was making good money.

Teevee Aguirre [00:19:18]:

What were those things?

Fe Aguirre [00:19:19]:

So those things were I did photography and most of the time it was barely any little. Like, I offered a lot of free photo shoots in high school because I.

Teevee Aguirre [00:19:28]:

Was trying to get her to charge, but she was like, no, I'm still practicing.

Fe Aguirre [00:19:31]:

Yeah, I'm building. My portfolio is show. I would say it, but then so my hustles were I sold banana pudding and then I did chocolate covered strawberries cake pops. And I feel like there's something else in there. They're just like baked treats. That's what I did. I sold stickers. So I drew them and then I scanned them and I would print my own stickers and sell them at school. I feel like there was one more, but I know the stickers and the banana pudding. And then I didn't really do chocolate cover, like the baking very often. I did it for special occasions, which were like Valentine's Day.

Teevee Aguirre [00:20:13]:

She'd come and take over my kitchen. She's like, hey, I got, I don't know, like 20 orders. I need somewhere to cook it.

Fe Aguirre [00:20:20]:

I would, yes. And I was booked.

Teevee Aguirre [00:20:23]:

But the reason this time a year actually, I saw a memory come up recently where two years ago we went to Sam's or something and you got a specific type of strawberry. You had to go to a specific time because you knew that they were going to be there. And the refresh, big fat oh, my God, I forgot about that.

Fe Aguirre [00:20:42]:

Yes. And I even got so good that I stopped using Sam strawberries because I started finding different connections and different places, like wholesale places to find huge strawberries. And I got really into big baskets. And it's funny because, yes, Valentine's Day is coming up and I think about it sometimes. I'm like, Do I have the time? I like that money. Because I really liked that money. But I was very busy. I stayed up late doing that. But I enjoyed it. And that's where I knew I was a marketer, because I had never sold treats before. There were other people in school who had a little business doing that. And then I saw it and I was like, I do that when I'm craving strawberries. I make that. I can do this. And then I've always made treats for everybody's, like my nephew's birthdays and then all the gender reveals and baby showers in our family, I would always bake. So I was like, Let me try selling. And so I knew I couldn't sit here and sell without a portfolio, without building people's trust.

Teevee Aguirre [00:21:51]:

So I sat marketing.

Fe Aguirre [00:21:54]:

You were doing a page, Instagram and Facebook page. I had a little logo. I'm not too happy about how it looks now, but it was a logo. It was a logo. And then I made sure that I had to invest first before I can make my money. And so I sat, I went shopping, bought a whole bunch of baking stuff, and she took a whole bunch of pictures. She went in just so people can see I'm capable of making beautiful treats.

Teevee Aguirre [00:22:28]:

What's funny is that it wasn't even about the treat itself, because you went big. You started going big. It was the packaging, and you did the thing that you hammer, and it was the design, the experience. So you were understanding then that it wasn't even just about the strawberry and the chocolate.

Fe Aguirre [00:22:47]:

And that's the thing. And that's what I also did. I've seen a lot of people using very cheap chocolate, and I was like, that's where I'm going to make myself better. And I bought really good baking chocolate, like what they should be probably buying, not artificially flavored. It's like called almond bark or something like that. And so I was like, that's where I'm also going to separate myself from them and make myself unique. So that's what I also put out there, that I used high quality chocolate. And I was even okay with sharing the chocolate because people knew they couldn't really replicate my work without spending a lot of money because I was spending a good amount of money on the chocolate. And so I was very good for a while. But the I got the internship, and I became busy soon after, like the after the three months. And I I needed rest because doing that standing and baking, it, it hurts your feet and your back. And so I was like, I didn't like coming home after working and having to work some more, but stand. And I was tired, and so that's why I stopped doing it. But it was good while I was doing it. I was able to make good money, and I knew how to set my price and my worth.

Teevee Aguirre [00:24:13]:

We had a lot of conversations around that.

Fe Aguirre [00:24:15]:

Yeah, and we still do.

Teevee Aguirre [00:24:16]:

It's an ongoing conversation. Value, price, what you charge in the marketplace is something that we talk about a lot. So let's switch it up a little bit. I had another few questions as we start to wrap it up. I wanted to ask you something that I got torched and flamed for on social media. Not so much by the people that actually know me, but by the general public as I started to share more content. One of them, this topic was interesting to me because I was talking about encouraging you all, both you and your sister, to argue and debate with me and people gave me a lot of crap around it because the insisted that that was wrong with this generation and disrespect and this and that. I wanted to give them benefit of the doubt and believe that they just were taking argument in the sense that we're just like here screaming at each other. Not you're wrong, no, you're wrong. But rather it was the idea that you're encouraged to argue with me, debate with me if you felt that I was wrong. You can come at me and present your argument just like attorneys and present an argument in court. You argue with facts. You argue with your position. And whatever your sources, you're able to argue in such a way that it's actually beneficial. There is actually nothing wrong with an argument if both parties are being respected, and that's what I encourage you to do. So my question to you is how do you think that might have benefited you?

Fe Aguirre [00:25:52]:

This is a big one. And by the way, I see all Facebook comments don't come at my dad.

Teevee Aguirre [00:26:00]:

Some people were like calling in on me.

Fe Aguirre [00:26:03]:

Yeah. And so this is a great moment where I can talk about that because my dad started that at a younger age where we could tell him, actually we think this is wrong because it affects us in this way, it makes us feel this way. And that's where he started teaching us. I guess it would be emotional intelligence, because we're okay with being told no. But then we're also okay being able to argue back. Not argue like we're screaming at each other, but we're able to sit down and speak like this and say, well, you made me feel this certain way with that decision, with what you did, because it affected me greatly. And I picked up I think I learned so much from it that again, when I'm dealing with people now, because you want to teach your kids, because when you're a parent and you're teaching a kid that you're always right, whenever they go into the real world, that's all they're going to know. That's all they're going to be like, okay, the adults are right because of their age. No, but because I know. And that also teaches me I can be wrong and to also be able to listen to the feedback like he's giving me. This is where I could learn something and do better. And so that has helped me in so many ways because I know people are wrong sometimes whenever we're discussing things. But it has allowed me to be very patient and to also train them how to speak to me. It's respect. Like, I'm young, but we're both human and we need to show respect because either of us can always be wrong. Majority I think of the conversations we have these days are opinion based. So it should be because it all has to do with our emotions. We react on our emotions first and so being able to share them patiently with him and calmly like, well, this made me feel a certain way. It's much smarter thing to do than a kid blowing up on you at the age of 20 because they regret they hated how they were being treated. Like, you told me I was wrong this whole time, I'm going to find out you're wrong.

Teevee Aguirre [00:28:29]:

You fart.

Fe Aguirre [00:28:30]:

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I've ever raised my voice at my dad. Like, there may there may have been times where I'm like, I have attitude, and I know I show I have attitude. I know I have an attitude sometimes. And my eyes, my eyebrows, they do certain things and I don't even realize it. But we've never got into an argument. We've never screamed at each other. He may raise is voice because I left my socks out for the fifth time after he taught me not to leave socks out. Put them away, FET. But other than that, when it came to everything else, we're able to have conversations and disagree with each other, and then he can learn something new about me and I'm his child. But there's always still new things to learn and I'm still learning things. And that's how it should be from my point of view, from my perspective as a child, not a child anymore, but someone who has an amazing relationship with their dad, that's show I feel it should be you should be able to, again, validate your feelings. Because I feel this way whenever someone's upset or mad. There is a reason, and it's not that the reason is wrong, but there can always be the smallest solutions to fix it. Whether it's like, your tone didn't make me happy and I was hungry at the time.

Teevee Aguirre [00:30:13]:

That's a great point. But I also want to add that sometimes you're arguing about facts or my opinion based on being raised in the in your opinion now that we're older and much more evolved society, I want to listen to that. It's like, oh, dad, that's an old way of looking at it. Here's what's happening now, or here's what the research has shown recently, that that entire notion is false. Oh, well, Schnap. I didn't know that, daughter. So it's just based on that my other argument to this entire thing of letting them argue with me. And that's the thing I think that people were hanging on to. And when I say I got torched, I mean I got torched by some people, but it was fine because it gave me feedback, language matters. And argument arguing with your child and your child ever arguing with you is seen as a negative because the perception is that your child is screaming at you, belittling you, insulting you and your maturity and your elder wisdom and so forth and so on. It's not that one. It makes me acknowledge that I'm not always right. And then maybe. There's some things that are wrong. Two, I need her to be able to go out into the world and argue her point, not let people just run over her, because that's the other thing. People are like, well, they should respect their elders. See, but you're assuming that your elders are all right. And furthermore, you adults. I dare you to go out into the world and look at people that you work with and assume that all of them should be respected, that some people in your life are actually wrong and they're adults. What if your child runs into that person that she's supposed to respect them when they're no, she needs to be able to share her thoughts, her opinions, her disagreements respectfully, unless they're pieces of crap. She also told them they're free to go to town on them. Like, I'm not raising sissies. I'm not raising punks. I want them to be able to stand on their own 2ft and say, no, this is wrong, dad, and this is why you're wrong. Now, that is lit me up. It fired me up and having this conversation.

Fe Aguirre [00:32:24]:

Yeah, you can tell because I ain't.

Teevee Aguirre [00:32:27]:

Trying to raise no punks.

Fe Aguirre [00:32:28]:

See, he doesn't even talk to us like that. You really made him mad. Dang, I kind of forgot what I was going to say.

Teevee Aguirre [00:32:39]:

Oh, no.

Fe Aguirre [00:32:40]:

But yes, it teaches someone may think they got away with something when they're speaking to me, but I know they didn't run over me. And it's another way of teaching boundaries, right? In every relationship, whether it be like an intimate relationship or a work relationship, it teaches boundaries in how you allow people to speak to you. Because if my parents are teaching me, hey, you don't speak to me that way, when I go out to the real world, how am I going to defend myself?

Teevee Aguirre [00:33:23]:

Where she gets a practice, where am.

Fe Aguirre [00:33:25]:

I going to feel confident? Especially when I know I'm right? And the thing is, it's also taught me when to stop arguing, because we've always got down to the solutions and we've resolved problems. But if I'm speaking to someone and I'm having to repeat myself, then I know it's okay. They're not interested in learning and growing as a human. So that's where you just stop and you learn from that person. Like, when I interact with them, don't do this. Because you just learn personalities and how to have relationships and set boundaries with certain people. And so that's why it's so important to learn that at an early age, or else your kid is going to be fighting everyone, or your kid is going to be being pushed over. Yeah, pushed over.

Teevee Aguirre [00:34:13]:

Nobody wants their kid to be pushed over. They want to be able to have their children wander the world successfully. Well, how does that happen?

Fe Aguirre [00:34:20]:

It starts at home, and it teaches me how to deal with my emotions when I'm wrong, when I am proven wrong. And so it's not the end of the world. I learned something new, and now we're going to take note of it, and we're going to make sure it doesn't happen again. And so there's so much importance in teaching that at an early age, because now I'm in the real world, and this is where I've learned a lot. It helps you set boundaries. It helps you set expectations. Because, again, if you raise your child to be that kind of scared of adults, their expectations of all icdotes become scary. Now they're scared to speak to any adult because they're right. Whatever.

Teevee Aguirre [00:35:13]:

They can't do anything right as a young child or young, like, I have to watch my every word because I'm the young kid in this relationship, or I'm the young kid at work. I can't speak up. It's just bad. I just don't see a way where that is good. Not if you really unpack that, other than just old notion of you should always respect your elders, dude.

Fe Aguirre [00:35:37]:

And the thing is, I think this part, we still respect our elders.

Teevee Aguirre [00:35:44]:

Elders.

Fe Aguirre [00:35:45]:

We're elders. Sorry. We are still respectful, but we respectful to everyone. It's not like he said, we don't have to listen to our elders. So we go out there and we're rude to all our elders. No, we're just letting people know that our voices matter as well and how we should be. Because then again, if I'm wrong, I would hope that I manage that relationship well enough that they're not screaming at me to prove a point. Yeah. That they can speak to me as well. We're always training people how to treat us. And so because I learned how to be patient, and I think the best word is debate. Debate what's right or wrong. Because, again, a lot of stuff is opinion and emotion driven when it comes to some of these decisions. Yeah. You may be right, but you're doing it. Yeah. You're being rude while trying to prove your point. So it makes me feel like you're wrong because I'm hurt.

Teevee Aguirre [00:36:53]:

Yeah.

Fe Aguirre [00:36:53]:

Now you're going to do it. Yes.

Teevee Aguirre [00:36:58]:

Fantastic. So next, I wanted to ask you to share with the people, because it's something that I talk about a lot, is what was your experience from first person? I've always shared this from a third person perspective as your father, you and your sister's father, but what was your experience about doing spoken word, and what did you take out of it? Because you started doing it when you were ten. 2012. So you were ten.

Fe Aguirre [00:37:26]:

I was nine.

Teevee Aguirre [00:37:27]:

You were nine and she was seven. Yeah, because I'm turning 21, so she's turning 20. Wow. At the end of the year, she just turned 20. At any rate, what was your experience like, never mind the date. It was here. What was your experience with spoken word and with something that you would encourage others to do? Because for me, I'll share this off the top. I feel like that was one of the best teaching tools. Free teaching tools to teach you how to write, share your emotions, listen to your peers, as well as to get up on stage with a mic and essentially do public speaking, which is a lot of people are scared to do. What was your experience from first person perspective while doing that?

Fe Aguirre [00:38:20]:

Okay, so I felt like it was a good experience because, one, I wasn't writing what everybody wanted me to write. Like, in school, there are so many boxes, so many rules you have to follow. But in poetry, that was my way of being creative while writing because I have never been a fan of writing and reading. I really struggle. I see my little sister and I'm like, wow, she just loves it and I just don't.

Teevee Aguirre [00:38:56]:

Very distinct different kids.

Fe Aguirre [00:38:59]:

Yes. And so it was a way for me to enjoy writing, for sure. And then, of course, it was an outlet to my emotions. Like, I can write everything. I never really was able to, I don't think, because I kind of stopped at a certain age to really express it, like, speak about everything that I've written about, like, actually perform it, because I just wasn't ready to do that. I felt like I was at an age I don't want to be disowned by my people I've come across and everything. So I never was able to do that. But I still write to this day. It may not be the best poem or the best, but I sit there and I you write for yourself. Yes, I write that and I lock.

Teevee Aguirre [00:39:51]:

Joaquin always talks about that and I.

Fe Aguirre [00:39:52]:

And I lock it, like, on my phone. It has like so no one will ever read it unless I'm ready to share it. Wow. And it really is the outlet for whenever I feel stressed, I feel down. I feel like used something that's where I rather ride it than sit there and scream at someone's face. That's where it has become my therapy. Yes. Wow. You said it right when it was coming out of my mouth. It's my therapy. And also because it's been away, like, maybe I am crazy sometimes and overly emotional. So I go back and like, fit what the took a piece of chicken. Why are you mad? That the yeah, like, I'm so is.

Teevee Aguirre [00:40:40]:

It really in your journal?

Fe Aguirre [00:40:41]:

No, it's serious stuff, but I am overreacting sometimes. And then yes. Performing and speaking, even just before getting up on stage, being in a group of people who have very similar stories really helped because they were all young and I know me and Anna were younger.

Teevee Aguirre [00:41:06]:

You're the youngest.

Fe Aguirre [00:41:07]:

We were always the youngest. Yes. But I saw it as a way, like, oh, there's other people like me in different shapes and colors. And it's not like the world has it out for me whenever I'm sad. It's not like it's just me. And then being able to speak in a group. So that helped first, that's where I did share a little more in that group. In that group. In the smaller group, you share a lot more. And then, of course, they give you advice. They give you feedback. Yeah, feedback. And there's just, like, friendships, because we were young and very young compared to some of the people in our group, and they treated us like we were them.

Teevee Aguirre [00:41:59]:

So the group is at the time, I think they're still running. Yes. The Still Dallas Youth Poets, which was originally founded by Joaquin si, juantinejo. They accepted them, they took them in. They were like their little mascots. They loved on them and allowed them to share their own mind and share their own pieces. And literally, they were way too young because the group was to her to kind of give you more context. It was specifically for teenagers. Well, when they got started, they weren't even teenagers. They were nine and seven. And we made it our monthly thing. We'd go to the workshop that was hosted every single month, and then they just showed up, did the work, and they did all the work.

Fe Aguirre [00:42:39]:

Yes. We would go home and do our homework. Whenever they assign stuff, we would come upstairs and do it. And so that really helped as well. And then it builds trust like it teaches you you can trust humans. No matter what you're going through at home and stuff, there are people you can trust. And so there shouldn't be any reason why you're not vulnerable to certain people. There shouldn't be a reason why you're not opening up and then getting on stage. That, yes, gave me so much confidence. I can speak to anyone now. But then, of course, going back to being able to debate with him and argue our points, that gave me more confidence. These two things became are their strengths. And I think a lot of people who are leading me and stuff will say that that is my strength. I am a people person. I can talk to people, I can relate to them. When I literally have no thing to relate to. I'm like I'm relating. I don't know. I don't know how I'm doing it.

Teevee Aguirre [00:43:47]:

But I'll tell you how you're doing it, because we're all human beings at the end of the day. Now, granted, you may not be from Ireland, redhead and aerospace, they're still human beings because you're just a cool person from speaking from a very biased point of view, but you're just a good person. And when you're a good person, good vibe, you can connect with almost anyone.

Fe Aguirre [00:44:14]:

Yes, it taught me how to speak in big groups, but I avoid. Yeah. So I've had my shy moments even going into the industry that I'm in now. I know I've had my shy moments, but it isn't as bad as I know it is for others. I was shy, but I wasn't scared. So nervous that my stomach was hurting that I was going to go throw up the second I left. My palms are sweaty. It was just I was growing he's weak.

Teevee Aguirre [00:44:48]:

Spaghetti.

Fe Aguirre [00:44:50]:

But I was still able to do it. It's just I just had to learn. Yeah. And then now my dad wasn't next to me. It wasn't like he was always next to me. He wasn't in the room. Because my dad always has pushed us to learn show, to give people a handshake and introduce ourselves and start up conversations. But now I was really doing it with no one watching me and telling me what I did wrong. So I had to learn on my own. At that point, I was like, okay, now I need to start listening, like, realizing what I did wrong. And it's not wrong, but what I could do better. So, yeah, that's what really helped me. And then also, he has let us choose what we want to do and want to pursue. And the big thing was he wanted to push us to be in and perform and be in a group. But for me, I wasn't able to still share a lot of poetry at my age. I felt like I wasn't ready. And so that's when I told him it wasn't something I wanted to do, perform, like I still would perform now, like go up on stage and share piece, but compete and all that wasn't something I was interested in.

Teevee Aguirre [00:46:02]:

For me, it wasn't ever about forcing you, and you know that, but it didn't matter to me. For me, and this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently, especially yesterday, I actually put this together a little list of activities that we did that cost nothing. It was never about competition. It was about the reps. She's not a world champion spoken word poet. She did chess. She's not a chess champ. She does basketball. She obviously doesn't play in the WNBA. It was never about playing at some elite level that she's crushing the world in. But it's about the skill sets that it takes, the different skills it takes to actually be decent at those things. Public speaking, writing, sharing motions, being vulnerable, hearing other people's emotions, recognizing that we are all human. And it's not just and you said this, this is big. Knowing that your peers are going through something, all of them are going through something, and maybe even worse. So being able to empathize and realize that as bad as it is for you, some people have a worse that doesn't mean that that's a good thing. But just know that everyone's going through something. So for me, all those things mattered more than ever. Competing, it was never about the competition. It would have been cool, but it was like, okay, that's cool. I thought maybe you wanted to, since that was the idea once it became teenagers at the Dallas Youth Poets thing, was to compete, because once you become a teenager, you compete. But they both said to me, we don't really want to do that. I'm like, okay, done. We don't have to worry about it.

Fe Aguirre [00:47:34]:

And that's how it's always been for our decisions. He has parented us well enough that he knows that our decisions are for the better. They're good.

Teevee Aguirre [00:47:46]:

Yeah. I trust that you're coming from a place of I don't want to do it because of this, and like, oh, good reasoning. Yeah, perfect. That's all I need to hear. Then we'll stop, or we'll go whenever you want, we'll go support and hear your friends perform here or there, but you do not have to worry about it. We're done with that then.

Fe Aguirre [00:48:05]:

Yeah. And that's where I think we could end it, is a lot of people you're ending it.

Teevee Aguirre [00:48:11]:

All right.

Fe Aguirre [00:48:11]:

A lot of people assume I even had friends because my dad is an online person, an online figure. So I had people following my dad, but people assumed that my dad handed us a lot of stuff, and we were given a lot, like, spoiled. And I never actually took it. Like oh, dude. I was always like, okay, I guess. But we weren't, because I know I talked to my boyfriend, and everybody was given toys and given everything, but we never really had that. We had experiences, and it amazes people whenever they ask me, like, oh, do you know how to do this? I was like, yeah, I do, actually. So a lot of those experience was like, chess, boxing, slam poetry.

Teevee Aguirre [00:49:09]:

We did some parkour.

Fe Aguirre [00:49:10]:

We did some parkour. What else? He taught me how to shoot a basketball, how to throw a football, how to toss a Frisbee, literally. Kites. Oh, my goodness. Kites. We've done. Kayaking. And then just drawing and painting. These were all photos, editing photos. These are all a lot of free and very affordable experiences. The were just experiences that he gave us. But because we were happy children, and we showed that and we were happy for him to be our father, people assumed that I was being spoiled, and I've been given everything, and so it's like, yeah, I was given experiences. Like, the taught me a lot of stuff, and when we learned chess, we were taught lessons, but our life is a chess game, and so there's so many things that I can name, so many that I wasn't given as a child. Technology and stuff. It took us a while to get it, and then even then, where we're limited for good reasons, but it's crazy, but that's what he was able to give us, and it taught us so much. And that's why I think I can relate to so many people, because I have so much to talk about. I have all these experiences. Yes, we traveled. We went to Austin, but again, we were there for the experiences. We went walking. We would do different things. We weren't always doing.

Teevee Aguirre [00:50:42]:

We didn't travel overseas or anything like that.

Fe Aguirre [00:50:45]:

Yeah. And it was just like because I made it look so fun, because I was actually having so much fun, people assumed I was given everything.

Teevee Aguirre [00:50:55]:

You're just a little wealthy, Brett.

Fe Aguirre [00:50:57]:

Yeah, that's how I was treated. And I'm like, just because I have a good father doing what he's supposed to be doing doesn't mean I'm a spoiled brat. And that's like, how I've always seen it, but that's how it should be. And the reason Anna and I are the way we are and why we value our friendships and why we value so much about life, and even, like, the small things we're able to value the small experiences people are able to give us.

Teevee Aguirre [00:51:31]:

Thank you for that.

Fe Aguirre [00:51:32]:

You're welcome.

Teevee Aguirre [00:51:33]:

I appreciate that.

Fe Aguirre [00:51:34]:

I just wanted to put it out there that we are not spoiled children.

Teevee Aguirre [00:51:41]:

Well, I didn't have a lot of money to spoil them with, I guess to rephrase that. I did spoil them. I loved the shit out of them. I loved on them every chance I got, every time. And I've told this story, so I'll tell it again. For the context of this video and this podcast is I gave them as much as I could. But it was always experiences. We have one TV. We always only had one TV. We don't have TVs in every room. They didn't have every toy they wanted. We don't have a gaming system. We never have. We were just doing things. And most of the time, it was cheap stuff. Going to the park, playing some basketball. Parkour was free. There was a guy that would teach workshops once a month. There was the poetry that was free. There was chess. That's always free. So there's all these things for free. Because for the longest, I didn't have much money. So although I did not spoil them in the traditional way that people assume, hey, I gave you buy you this, buy you that, buy you gadget. No, I took them to do things. Now we're doing things that are a little more expensive. But even then, it's the experience of it all. And I learned that early on. And I think being broke for so long, I refuse to let that be an excuse and not be involved within their lives. But I learned that early on. Just give them experiences, because I think this is what's going to they're going to remember. They're not going to remember some damn toy I bought them that was hot in 2012.

Fe Aguirre [00:53:13]:

It's crazy. You actually have never bought us a toy.

Teevee Aguirre [00:53:16]:

Not once. Not once. I never bought you dolls.

Fe Aguirre [00:53:19]:

We had toys, but they were like stuffed animals, and they were given to us.

Teevee Aguirre [00:53:22]:

They were given to us. Yeah. After a divorce, people felt bad for me, so they're like, here take these.

Fe Aguirre [00:53:26]:

And the were like the literally stuffed animals. And that's what we had. And that's what Anna and I but our toys, like, our experiences were paint, bubbles, hula hoops. And then Frogger was one of them.

Teevee Aguirre [00:53:45]:

It was an app on the phone.

Fe Aguirre [00:53:46]:

No, at the time, it was on the big TV we had. Yeah, it was a CD. I don't even know.

Teevee Aguirre [00:53:55]:

Oh, CD Rom. That's right. I got it for at half price books. I do remember that.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:00]:

And we had that one, and I think high School Musical. And that's the only movies that we had running on our TV. But Frogger was a fun like, we learned our ABCs through Frogger.

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:10]:

It was actually not Frogger, but something with a frog.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:13]:

With a frog. Not the game.

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:15]:

So Frogger, you had it on the app? That was something I did.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:18]:

Oh, we had our ipod. Yeah, but that was further down, too. We had an apartment by then. But yeah, that's where we were spoiled. We had those experiences, but that anybody can have and create. And it was I think I looked forward to it.

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:39]:

That's something I told people, like, dad, what are we doing this weekend? What are we doing this? It was narrow.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:44]:

We still do it now. I'm like, hey, when are we going to the park?

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:48]:

Yeah.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:48]:

Sunday.

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:49]:

Yeah, let's go play.

Fe Aguirre [00:54:51]:

It's too cold.

Teevee Aguirre [00:54:51]:

Don't expect yeah, actually, I've been wanting to go out, but it's so damn cold. Feels good right now. I was out there. I was walking a little bit. Did you see the video I recorded for you?

Fe Aguirre [00:55:02]:

Yeah, I did.

Teevee Aguirre [00:55:03]:

What did you think? That was pretty good for a 22nd clip. I was promoting this podcast. Check for it. Last thing I'll say, because I think it's funny, I had a handful of people I'm glad you're here to prove to the world that I do have her. I am a father. I am not just making this up. I had a handful of people say, does this idiot even have parents? That is some wack ass advice. Like, that's stupid. That would never work in the real world. It made me laugh.

Fe Aguirre [00:55:36]:

And that's the thing. I am judging you all so much. And I will say the people who say that, yes, because it's crazy that, I guess how you were raised and how you choose to raise your children, you think it's the right way and the only way. And then, I mean, dude, if it.

Teevee Aguirre [00:55:58]:

Works for you, great. But to assume that there's not another.

Fe Aguirre [00:56:01]:

Way, which is I am literally the living proof. I know it's very hard for people to believe. We don't argue. I can't think of a time where I raised my voice at you because we've been able to share our feelings.

Teevee Aguirre [00:56:15]:

People don't believe me either.

Fe Aguirre [00:56:16]:

And yeah, it's just like I am someone who raises my voice and she.

Teevee Aguirre [00:56:21]:

Does get passionate and hostile.

Fe Aguirre [00:56:23]:

Yes. Never been with him. It's insane, because I see your comments, and even my friends, some of my closest friends view his stuff and see those comments, and they're like, dude, what the heck? Do they not know him? And I'm like, no, they don't. They assume that there is only one right way, and this is the proof that there is another right way. And there are probably so many other ways. There's so many ways to parent, but this was a great outcome of parenting because there's so many different ways to parent, but not always have the best outcome. But we're saying that this is a great outcome because I have an amazing relationship with my dad. I choose to come over. I choose to be here.

Teevee Aguirre [00:57:24]:

I think my computer just crushed.

Fe Aguirre [00:57:26]:

It did?

Teevee Aguirre [00:57:28]:

Oh, it's dying. Hold on.

Fe Aguirre [00:57:29]:

It died? No, it did. It just died right now.

Teevee Aguirre [00:57:35]:

What a moron. Why didn't I not charge it? Oh, wow. So that just happened. So we're recording on two cameras. One just died because of technical reasons. At any rate, will it wrap it up there? Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing with the world that you are my daughter. Please don't ask for a birth certificate. At some point, you're just going to have to believe that it's true. Please believe it like the photos are out there. I do appreciate you for coming on board, coming and recording this microphone up here. I love you dearly. It's crazy to believe that, oh, man, that's not good. It's crazy to believe that you're a full grown adult and you have a life and you're doing all the things, but I'm incredibly proud of the human being you are. And I guess I'll leave you with this. I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew that I needed to do better for them and for myself, but for them. And at the end of the day, as long as I raised good human beings, I knew that they were going to figure out their way in the world. They're still doing it, but I know they are good human beings, and for that, I'm internally grateful. And I love you. Love you dearly. Thank you for being my child.

Fe Aguirre [00:58:50]:

Thank you for being my dad.

Teevee Aguirre [00:58:52]:

So until next time, my name is TV from the TV show podcast. That's me. Have a great day and talk soon. I got to run because my computer is about to blow up. This is crazy. Bye.