Breaking the Habit I Thought Was Just “Part of the Job”

00:00:00:02 - 00:00:29:17
I'm on day 24, maybe 26 of my dopamine detox and I feel like my brain has gotten a software upgrade. I haven't done scrolled in over a month. I don't know, almost on almost a full month. So let me tell you about it. And for context, I, I run a digital marketing agency and primarily do a lot of social media advertising on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, mainly Facebook.

00:00:29:18 - 00:00:50:22
So this is really, really hard for me. But I realize that I have become addicted to my phone and it's not even a joke. And I think all of us can attest to this. We all have become addicted to my phone, to our phones, and if it's nearby, I find that I reach for it. Like almost impulsively, not almost incredibly impulsively.

00:00:51:00 - 00:01:21:11
I don't even know if that's good grammar, but has become a problem. And I noticed that my mood, given everything that's going on, has it has really low moments, so much so that sometimes I it, it takes me a while to feel completely myself and then I see something else, on some feed. And that's what I ended up concluding, is when the phone's a problem and two, the feeds are the problem.

00:01:21:13 - 00:01:58:20
And I shared this, a post written post on my Facebook sharing, what I have done and how much better I feel. I feel tremendously better. So let's talk about why I'm doing it. And I, which I've already alluded to a little bit. What's happening, how I'm doing it, what's happening for my emotional state. And then this add on that I just started today, which, I'll, I'll tell you about here in a little bit because there was one thing I did not block, and it was still compulsively creating an issue for me.

00:01:58:22 - 00:02:32:10
So why did I do it? Because as I stated already, it's become really bad out there. The news is just negative, negative, negative. Marketers ruin everything. The politics of everything. Everything is politicized. Everything, is overdramatize. It could be sports, it could be music. It any has to be politics. Everything is politicized or dramatized. I just looking at ESPN or any news stations, they're all talking heads and they're just screaming at each other.

00:02:32:10 - 00:03:04:07
And then you go to YouTube and there's all this propaganda or, just media, channels and influencers that are create more drama about who said what. And it's, it's insane to, to just see that everywhere. So it became evident to me that I needed to do something because I genuinely, continuously, often, if not all the time, felt sad or depressed or just like the world is ending.

00:03:04:09 - 00:03:33:22
Unknown
And maybe it is, but I still have to live and I still had to provide. I still had to create. And that's the biggest thing I had to create. And I can't create anything or much of anything, if I'm perpetually in some depressed mode. And I'm sorry, but that's the way I continuously felt, it just horrible. And the more I think about things and you look at history and I realize that bad things have always been happening.

00:03:33:22 - 00:03:58:07
Unknown
And I'm not saying they're not they're not bad things happening now, but they've always been happening and they've been happening all over the world, and they're happening right now. There's bad things happening right now somewhere in another state and another city, in another country. And like, I've traveled and I've witnessed this, when I would be in other towns, in other countries, you look at the media like, oh my God, there's some really bad things happening here that I'd never heard about.

00:03:58:09 - 00:04:19:21
Unknown
So what I realize is the big is there's always been bad things happening. Always. Even when there's been good times, there's always been bad things happening. But we never, ever knew just how bad it was or how or how bad it was all over the world. Because we weren't plugged into it. We didn't get the news from those other parts of the world.

00:04:19:23 - 00:04:50:20
Unknown
But now, anytime anything kind of bad or semi bad or anything happens, we have immediate access to that information and I'm convinced that we were never meant to have all this information, all this sadness, all this war, all this trauma being put in our face. So I decided to do the the obvious thing. But the hard thing, and given that I run a digital marketing agency, it's really hard, because I have to be connected.

00:04:50:20 - 00:05:12:10
Unknown
I literally have to be connected to be able to service my clients and do some work for them. And provide a service that I have to be on my phone is what I'm saying. Today's episode of Becoming Better Ancestors is brought to you by me. That's right. To be the marketer founder of Rockstar Dot marketing, where we help small businesses stop being invisible and start becoming unforgettable.

00:05:12:12 - 00:05:31:14
Unknown
That's what you are. If we run a local business and you're tired of throwing money away on ads that don't work, or worse, trusting your cousin's friend who does marketing on the side, it's time to call in the pros. We do digital advertising, video marketing, I integrations and strategy that actually gets results. No fluff, no excuses, just ROI.

00:05:31:14 - 00:05:59:15
Unknown
I head on over to WWE Rockstar Dot marketing. It's a real thing and let's make some marketing magic happen. So and years ago I actually installed this plugin on Chrome. This is what I would recommend for you called News Feed Eradicator, and at the time it was mainly for Facebook. But now I was looking at it and I had eradicates all the news feeds or any news feed you want YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, all of them.

00:05:59:17 - 00:06:17:20
Unknown
Twitter x, you can block all of them. And that for me, allows me to still go do what I have to do. I just block the newsfeed so somebody posts something I can. Or if I want to check out somebody, I can go see what they're up to. No, I can't see what they're doing this precise moment or I can't see it in the feed.

00:06:17:20 - 00:06:37:20
Unknown
So I don't know if they post it right now. I just have to go out of my way. That took care of that issue. So I'm not doing scrolling on my desktop, but on my phone. The obvious thing to do is just to delete the apps, but because I do want to have access to them in case I do need to have access to them and make it a little less hard.

00:06:37:20 - 00:07:00:07
Unknown
I have this app called Opal installed, and on it I have the CEO CEO mode on which allows me to which blocks everything. And I can still kind of, select which apps to block. And that's a block. It was a little aggressive and it blocked my Spotify blocked, it blocked everything. Right. I had to remove Spotify.

00:07:00:07 - 00:07:22:06
Unknown
I still can't figure out how to remove SoundCloud. I want to SoundCloud. I like my music. The thing that was the most difficult in the past to block, Facebook is actually not hard. I've had it removed. It's Instagram. I'm sorry. Instagram's been, YouTube. YouTube, for me has been the hardest y. It's been the hardest because everything is on there.

00:07:22:06 - 00:07:44:14
Unknown
It's not just news. I love my sports and I don't. I watch clips of sports like I watch that I like. I don't even watch the games anymore because it take too long and it's too, too emotionally draining. So I just watch the clips the next day like I'm a Dallas Mavericks fan. The next day I'll watch a ten minute highlight, basically, the highlights of the game, and I'll find out who won or lost.

00:07:44:16 - 00:08:07:10
Unknown
But music as well. I like all types of music, so there's where I can find a diverse type of music that I may not be able to find on Spotify. So that was the hardest how to videos? Just random stuff. But of course the politics comes in and of course the drama, even ESPN and all them, they go at each other or Fox or the podcasters.

00:08:07:10 - 00:08:36:07
Unknown
It's it's too much. So I finally decided to also block YouTube, but I found out that YouTube has YouTube music, which I knew about, but I didn't realize is how good it is is actually really good. It almost goes head to head, toe to toe, whichever head and toe with with Spotify in terms of discoverability and, just selections and, playlists and curated lists.

00:08:36:07 - 00:09:07:05
Unknown
I really, really like it. So that has been an alternative to YouTube. Great. So I'm on day 24, 26, whatever it is of detoxing, and I can tell you I feel tremendously better now. The stuff is still happening out there, and the other big is I can't necessarily do anything about it other than be informed of the how much information does one human being need to have, and how and how informed do you need to be if it's really bad or if you want to stay up to date?

00:09:07:05 - 00:09:30:23
Unknown
One of the things I do, do, do, do is I am subscribed to newsletters from like New York Times or Wall Street Journal or The Dallas Morning News here locally to find out what may be happening. That's some urgency that I need to be aware of, but do I need to know what Tom, Dick and Harry, think about what's happening down the street or up the up in Capitol Hill, or about anything and everything?

00:09:30:23 - 00:09:50:18
Unknown
I don't need to know everything and everybody else's opinions about the things, and I think that's the biggest problem. The news feed is filled with that. I can't do anything about it. I can't, I never have, most people never have. You do need to be informed. Perhaps stay in groups where you have the top level information, or if you want to mobilize and get, become an activist or be an activist.

00:09:50:19 - 00:10:16:05
Unknown
I totally support that and agree with that. But you don't need to be invested every single moment of every single day. It's two much. I don't think the human mind is is equipped for on that stuff, and that anger and the resentment. All right, so hey there, it's me again. This episode, in case you forgot of the becoming better ancestors, this sponsored by yours truly and Teevee, the guy behind Rockstar Marketing.

00:10:16:05 - 00:10:40:12
Unknown
We all purpose driven businesses go from best kept secret to everybody's talking about them in digital as compelling video on marketing that actually works. If you got a message that matters but need help getting it heard, we should talk. Head over to WW dot Rockstar dot marketing and let's make you impossible to ignore. I feel better so more relaxed.

00:10:40:14 - 00:11:13:05
Unknown
I'm excited for the day. I feel more motivated, more creative. There's more bandwidth, more energy to get invested into other things and to. I've been reading a lot more guys. I, I will admit, I still have the habit of picking up the phone. Which brings me to my last point of this video. I would pick it up way too many times because there's a habit and there's one thing I did not block, and that is the, my Gmail up, my email up.

00:11:13:07 - 00:11:37:19
Unknown
So I think because I still feel the compulsive desire to pick up the phone and look at it, I started reading more, but also I've been opening up my email app a whole lot more, and it's, and the statistics on my apps shows it. And I'm like, why? I'm like, you know, the app that tracks all that and I'm like, why am I my number still so high is my Gmail.

00:11:37:21 - 00:11:58:03
Unknown
I don't mind picking up the phone if I'm reading something. For example, I'm reading 4 or 5 books I'm kind of cycling through. I think that is a problem. Like how many emails am I going to get? So today I decided to actually, block all that as well. But I have four emails for different purposes, so I blocked all that.

00:11:58:05 - 00:12:18:15
Unknown
And now I've and it's installed, I've implemented a new policy that I'm only going to check it and like 9 a.m. at 12 a.m. after three times. What if I say there's a ten two and five at 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.? That's the only time I'm going to check my email. If it's my clients, unless.

00:12:18:15 - 00:12:38:19
Unknown
Is it? I'm gonna let them know. Unless there's an emergency. Please. Also, CC my my assistant. So that way we can take care of there's an emergency and or text me. My texts are still available. I don't have a lot of people text me because I just don't. So I did that today. And that one was even harder than YouTube, obviously.

00:12:38:21 - 00:13:01:19
Unknown
But I feel like it's already helped me today because I was a felt a little more focused. And this is crazy. Now I can still log in to my Gmail via my my desktop, and I need to figure out how to get around that, or maybe force myself to log in manually every single time. Adding a barrier, adding friction to be able to do that.

00:13:01:21 - 00:13:26:07
Unknown
Hopefully that all makes sense. Guys, I feel like we all have a problem. We are literally addicted to our phones, and I used to think that it wasn't a problem. I wasn't addicted, and just this year I felt like, oh yeah, it's a problem. I'm in the toilet now. Sometimes, I don't know, it's. But but don't don't judge me because I know you probably do this too.

00:13:26:07 - 00:13:43:12
Unknown
Or you know, someone. You. Let me be honest. You're on your phone, you're in the restroom, and you're doing what you got to do. You're taking care of your business and you're scrolling, checking out memes, getting mad at everything. And you get up and your legs are numb. Like, what the hell? How long have you been sitting there?

00:13:43:14 - 00:14:06:11
Unknown
Did I wait? Did I not wait? I'm gonna wipe anyways, just in case. Oh my goodness, I have a problem and I need to stop. This is the honest truth. I'm trying to be vulnerable here. Please don't judge me. And if you judge me, it's okay because I'm judging you back. We got to do better. I said I do social media marketing and advertising.

00:14:06:11 - 00:14:26:21
Unknown
I do this for for a living. And I feel like we can do better. And we can still enjoy social media for what it is. It's given me so much, so many good things, so many friendships and hobbies and passions and and just good information. So there is the good side of it. But these algorithms have are running our lives, the speeds.

00:14:26:21 - 00:14:46:01
Unknown
It's the feeds and the apps and the phone feeds and the phone. It's a combination of both of those. And this desire to stay plugged in had several people reach out to me and asked me how I was doing it. So this video, as an effort to to kind of walk you through how I did it, Oppo for the phone.

00:14:46:03 - 00:15:04:06
Unknown
And you can also on Oprah also blocked Gmail, but I'll call your email. You can block everything if you want. You can select the apps, news Feed, Eradicator and I think they have that extension plug in for all the browsers. So you can still you can still scroll or you can still go go there and check out people stuff.

00:15:04:06 - 00:15:24:09
Unknown
You just can't see the feed. The feed is the problem. The phone is the problem. And the politics of it all is the problem and our need to always be plugged in. So what can you do? What can you create? How will you feel when you're not always plugged in? I think the benefit of that is far exceeds being plugged in all the time.

00:15:24:11 - 00:15:43:16
Unknown
Like I said, if you really want to stay in touch with the news, if that's your thing and you really need to know every day, or what's the urgent, subscribe or pay to actually be subscribed to some of these platforms that are going to give you news, whatever your news is, it's not for me to decide your news as opposed to all these opinions.

00:15:43:18 - 00:15:58:15
Unknown
You're not changing anybody's mind. You're just in an echo chamber. I don't I don't want to be in one anymore. I just want to create. I just want to be. I just want to live. Love to all the good things and be a good citizen. Love you guys. Thank you for tuning in. Hopefully this was of some benefit to you.

00:15:58:17 - 00:16:05:18
Unknown
Until next time, have a great day and we'll talk soon. I got to talk to my girl. My baby girl this time it's our weekly call. So next time, bye bye.